I scratch my chin and ponder whether it’s best to remember a dream when I wake up or have it permanently erased from my consciousness.

And then common sense sets in and it’s obvious the answer to my question depends on the dream.

Some dreams generate pleasant memories. Some dreams do not.

The good news for me is that interpreting dreams totally is out of my bailiwick.

For instance, how would one accurately interpret this dream I both had and remembered last week?

I won’t bore you with details, but …

I penned a postcard addressing my concerns about the allowable catch of halibut off the shores of Alaska. Unfortunately, at the post office, I dropped my all-important communiqué into a slot posted “for contributions only” instead of for local or non-local mail.

To rectify my error, I perused the interior of the post office seeking paper to drop in the “contributions” slot explaining that my first entry wasn’t a “contribution,” but should be shipped regular mail.

Not finding a scrap of paper, I discovered a gray stocking cap to write on. As dreams go, I next walked into the classroom of a teacher at a school which I never attended. While borrowing a black Sharpie from him, he commented on the stocking cap I’d stolen.

While sitting in the hallway writing my message on the stocking cap to shove into the “contribution” slot, a policeman walked up and wrote me a $15 ticket for stealing a stocking cap.

To make a long story short(er), the policeman was smoking a cigarette indoors, I yelled, “Citizen’s arrest!!!” and he pulled out his ticket book and wrote me a ticket for $150.

Quite likely, justice was served.

Anyway, that’s my dream that doesn’t need interpretation.

When working as a freelance writer, I applied for a position to write for a company that interpreted dreams. Believe it or not, I didn’t get the job.

Possibly one of the most famous dreams of all time is recorded in that black book we can’t mention in public schools.

That dream came to a dude named Joseph. He was the youngest of a bunch of brothers who weren’t crazy about him because he was Dad’s favorite.

It’s always staggered me that Joseph not only had a dream he remembered where all his brothers came and bowed down before him, but that he had the gumption to tell them his dream.

Imagine being the older brother of Dad’s favorite who tells you he just had a dream that you and numerous other siblings would one day be groveling at his feet.

Not a way to earn friends and influence people!

Of course the brothers, after rolling the dice and deciding not to kill Joseph, threw him into a pit and then sold him to a caravan of traders headed to Egypt.

Finally, thousands of years later, I’ve uncovered a personal theory as to why Joseph told that dream to his brothers.

You see, later on in the story it’s revealed that Joseph had the innate ability to interpret dreams. Since he exhibited the ability to interpret dreams when he was imprisoned for refusing to kowtow to the lascivious demands of his master’s wife, why wouldn’t Joseph have had the same ability when he was younger?

Why not tell his brothers the truth whether they liked it or not?

Oh well, what’s the purpose of all this?

Maybe the lesson to be learned from this article is not to yell “citizen’s arrest” to a policeman, whether he’s smoking in public or not.

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